The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
