you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize