one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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