how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
