Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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