i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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