i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize