google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
