cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She's the barista slut.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
