everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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