two words: eviction party
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You have to summon your inner elephant
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
soo... how was my night?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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