I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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