She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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