If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
