This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
