Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Girls should come with a carfax report
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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