I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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