it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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