He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
