he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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