Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
