This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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