So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
