some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
