I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
