Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
dude. I can hear the air.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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