is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
