i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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