The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
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