I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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