I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
i need some magic done to my vagina
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