He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
