I wanna bring you to show and tell
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
