That's when you crack a 10am beer
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
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