I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
