It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
