o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
