We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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