Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
