You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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