Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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