I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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