so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My cat gives me a boner
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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