12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
