IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
