Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I pour the whiskey from now on
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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