i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
