So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
