well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
smell my finger.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
