before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
