Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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