it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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