i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
