i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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