On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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