I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
