I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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