You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
