Can Purell be used as lube?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
