So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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