The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I had to cum in my sink.
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