Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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